From George Murphy

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Welcome to Hebden! I'd recommend joining a society or club. There's a huge range of local groups to join and a shared hobby or interest is a useful first link in forging friendships. Perhaps find a club you can visit with your partner and then you could each find one to suit your individual tastes. You've made a good start by contacting HebWeb, which provides a great resource for researching the local scene.

Please note: the sun does shine sometimes.

From Julie C

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Speak to people in the street, at the bus stop, in the shops, while you wait to cross the road, as you pass people in the road. Some folk will probably ignore you, or look shocked, but lots of them will be up for a bit of a natter, even if it's just to share a grumble with you about the rain. Proper buddies take longer, but they are definitely out there waiting to meet you. Best of luck.

From Isla S

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

Come along to Hebden WI we meet on the 3rd Monday of every month. We are a mix of ages and a far from traditional WI! See website.

From Jenny F

Thursday, 30 July 2015

Thanks for your help so far. Yes I've been looking into groups to join, the WI looks interesting. I'm quite keen on joining a book club if there is one! :) if anyone could link me to one that would be great.

Also, are there any dance classes/dance exercise clubs?

From Andy G

Friday, 31 July 2015

Jenny, if you and your partner wish to make new friends in Hebden, you could do no better than to wander into one or more of our wonderful local pubs. They are a wonderful melting pot of people of all ages, genders, backgrounds and sexual or religious orientation (or none) and you will pretty soon fall into conversation with interesting folk. Even if you are teetotal you can order a soft drink or a coffee and enjoy the friendly social mix. Cheers!

From Angi Williamson

Saturday, 15 August 2015

I'm in the same position as you are, my partner and I don't live in H B, but it's not too far to travel. But have lost touch of our friends over the year with work and moving etc. I would like to make some new friends and hopefully I find it hard to just go out and chance it and thought there would be others who might feel the same

If you and your partner would like to meet up and have a coffee we can see if we could make our own little team. We could look at each other's interests. Please reply back via this site or email me. This is an invitation to other people too, if you would like to get together for socials etc I'd love to hear from you also.
Angi

From Ian W

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Hi, similar position to some of you guys. Single man 40's starting again in Hebden Bridge having lived in London for the last 26 years. Just looking for friends plain and simple nothing more. Love the countryside, dog walks, coffee shops, history reading etc. I'm on the quiet side and not the sort who could just walk in to a pub. Where do I start? Any advice most welcome.

From Paul D

Monday, 30 November 2015

I would suggest the Railway, or Fox and Goose, not because either is that good, but both are quite full of men in their 40s getting into new lives quite quickly and effectively. If being seen alone is a problem take a book or say the Hebden Bridge Times on a Thursday evening to read until somebody invariably interrupts you and tries to be your friend.

Also it's quite normal to ask to join an established pub team in the Stubbing or Cross, just say yours didn't show, you will likely be asked back next week unless your specialist area is nuclear weapon technology 1952-98.

There are walking groups, cycling, fell racing, history, comedy groups. There are 'friends' of everything (the ones for hunting, farming and fishing tend to lose the 'friends' prefix) but actually it must be the most difficult place to look at from the 'outside' as it is quite small and a bit introspective really, but I find Hebden Bridge still embraces everyone more or less. Except farmers, people moving here I find like the land to play on or look at, but not so much to wrestle with so those struggling to make a living on it are a bit ignored.

So I think relax and don't try too hard and give it time. Choose carefully so as not to waste time. If you went to the cinema then it's dark, you enter, sit and leave alone. The pubs and sports or interest groups are brilliant. And also - welcome. This is your home now. People come and go but rarely report loneliness as a reason for leaving - the opposite actually.

From Kez Armitage

Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Hi Ian W, and welcome to Hebden Bridge. I've been here about 35 years now, and was, when I first came, in a similar position to yourself (although a bit younger then!)

Can I reiterate Paul D's comments about the local pubs, particularly with regard to the Fox and Goose. It's a great place to start off, and has a wonderful eclectic mix of people, some of whom will be completely on your wavelength! Don't worry about walking into a strange pub - take a big breath and just do it.

If you're interested in history, the local history society meets periodically in the Methodist Hall, Market Street.

Good luck. I'm sure you won't regret the move to Hebden!

From Jenny B

Friday, 4 December 2015

It would be interesting to see if JennyF who posted this thread in July, has settled in and made friends.

Having lived here all my life, I have the luxury of old friends, new friends, school friends around me. But, many move on, or move in and out of my life; toddler group mums are more a passing hello now and I often have to 'make new friends' as my life moves on.

I meet lots of lovely people on the buses and still call my ex bus buddies( those on the same commute) friends.

Most pubs sell coffee if you don't want a beer and often someone will chat if you are on your own. I still carry a book in case no one does, or I actually want to be left alone.

As others have said there are loads of groups, try the ones that interest you and then choose which to stick with. Churches are welcoming too. Good luck

From Maggie W

Friday, 4 December 2015

Of course Paul D has a fair point about the cinema - you do go to the Picture House and sit in the dark (albeit to watch some brilliant films in a wonderful venue!) But the Picture House also has a lively Friends group which meets regularly in a local pub and would welcome new members. More details here.

From Ian W

Sunday, 6 December 2015

Many thanks for your responses. I am very much looking forward to my move here hopefully before Christmas.

From Rosa E

Sunday, 6 December 2015

The self-confidence of those who recommend making friends by talking to strangers on buses or in pubs! I think they can have no conception of how it can be for some of us. This was expressed perfectly by Iris Murdoch in "The Philosopher's Pupil": a character responds to the suggestion that she should move away and start a new life somewhere else -

"Start a new life! You grew up rich and easy, you think people can go away, for you there are other places, anywhere you go you're somebody, you're visible, you exist, you can make friends and be with real people in a real way. If I left here I'd die in a corner, I'd dry up and shrivel up and die like an insect, no one would care, no one would even know."

Don't mean to be a downer Ian. I'm sure you will be happy here and people are indeed very friendly. Just want to make the point that what seems easy for some is not always easy for others.

From Jenny B

Sunday, 6 December 2015

I don't think it's a self confidence thing Rosa. It's more the confidence that Hebden will welcome all-comers. Usually on the basis that if you 'muck in' you will 'fit in'. So whilst not wishing to appear unsympathetic, nor to underestimate any difficulties that some may have in making new friends, I think small towns have a different ethos and strangers really are just friends that we haven't yet met.